Wii - The Virtual Console (Part 1)

As you are probably very well aware of, Nintendo’s new Wii is just around the corner from its launch dates across November and December, depending on what territory you hail from. Having made it my first pre-order console since the Dreamcast and dunking myself neck-deep in all kinds of propaganda over the last few weeks, I thought I’d make a little diversion here on Accidental Gaming to cover the initial launch titles penned in for the Virtual Console channel on the Wii. This will most likely take place over two or three parts, hopefully wrapping up before the console is actually out the door in at least one region!

Thanks should go to IGN.com as my reference point for the list of proposed launch titles. Oh, and I’ll honestly try and stay off the Wii puns as much as possible.

To start off, a look at the crop of original Nintendo games set for inclusion.

Nintendo Entertainment System

Mario Bros. (1986 – US, EU):

Not much cause for going into huge detail here. Unless you’ve been living under some kind of insanely huge rock in the middle of the Nevada Desert with industrial earmuffs duct taped to your face and a paper bag over your head, you’ll know the who, why, where and what of Mario and his endless capers in stalking princesses, stomping on wildlife, stealing coins, eating magic mushrooms and driving cars recklessly, amongst other things.

No, he wasn’t last week’s photo fit on Crimewatch.

Not to be confused with Super Mario Bros. which came out a couple of years later, this is the maiden Mario Bros. game where you must clear a screen of invading foes by head-butting the floor under their feet and punting them to their doom. Coins, as always, are there to be collected and a POW block in the lower-middle section offers some temporary respite from the hectic onslaught. The game also offers a simultaneous 2-player option, which should bode well with the Wii’s emphasis on communal gaming, and should be a fairly popular download on the console.

[7/10]

The Legend of Zelda (1987 – US, EU):

Again, a title I should not have to offer too much introduction to.

Yes, this is the one that started it all off – and not just the Zelda series itself, but the phenomenon of perhaps the most common misconception of a video game character’s identity ever. Even today, some people will still reply ‘Zelda’ if you offer them a picture of Link and ask who it is. You know who you are.

For the uninformed, be prepared to hack, slash and puzzle your way through one of the best examples of action-adventuring to grace any console. Critically acclaimed by an overwhelming number of gamers, journos and organisations over the years, I’m certainly not one to break the mould. Heck, if The Legend of Zelda never came along, The Ocarina of Time would never have been released and I would have been robbed of perhaps my favourite RPG gaming experience ever. For this reason alone, I’m in its debt.

Roots are always a great thing to return to, and this is no exception. The Legend of Zelda should quite simply be riding as high as the top three of your Virtual Console shopping list this Christmas. You’ll thank me later.

[10/10]

Donkey Kong (1986 - US, EU):

Inheriting perhaps one of the strangest video game titles ever conceived, the deceptively mule-lacking Donkey Kong (a name which would later land Nintendo in the courtroom for obvious reasons) was finally granted its home release on a Nintendo console outside of Japan a good five years after its emergence on the coin-op stage. Before this, Colecovision owners were the ones initially enjoying the rule on playground arguments due to an exclusive release of the title in 1982, with a couple of other average ports seeing the light of day as Coleco allowed the rights to other developers soon after.

Come the NES port, and things were looking very rosy indeed. Offering an accurate port of the classic arcade hit, the Big N were on to a winner with their flagship Mario trying to outwit a gorilla three-times his size to rescue the inaugural girl in distress. Throw in navigating girders, dodging fiery spirits and jumping barrels, and you have a plumber’s average day at work, apparently. No wonder they get paid so much.

The only major quibble most people have with the NES port is the lack of the 'custard pie factory' level, which is a shame, but doesn't make the game instantly missable.

People liked Donkey Kong back then, and with good cause, as it’s still an utterly playable title in the present day. This signals another strong title for the Virtual Console under its belt.

[7/10]

Donkey Kong Jr. (1986-7 – US, EU):

My first personal memories of Donkey Kong Junior come from the Game & Watch version that my parents got for my Brother one Christmas. I must have been about three or four at the time, and a full twenty-odd years later Nintendo are still managing to flog the thing in one form or another. When you put it in that kind of perspective, it’s really quite something.

In essence, the game is largely similar to its predecessor, although this time Mario has managed to put your dad under lock and key and it’s your job as the avenging son to rescue him from captivity. Thankfully, the level design is different enough to make Donkey Kong Jr. a worthy title in its own right, with vines and springs to manipulate, fruit to drop on adversaries and a host of obstacles to avoid. Again, the NES handles the conversion in an accurate manner, retaining all the playability of the arcade original.

If I were to choose between the original Donkey Kong and this incarnation, I have a feeling I’d go for this one instead. It’s basically taking the raw playability of its founder and tacking some bells and whistles on here and there, ending up a bit like a Morris Dancer refereeing a football game.

On second thought, if you think that sounds appealing, perhaps you should be elsewhere – somewhere far from me.

[8/10]

Ice Hockey (1988 - US, EU):

I assume this one has only been chalked up to appease our dear neighbours across the pond. I say this because, although I am a fan of hockey myself, I’m in no way supporting this game. Yes, it was probably pretty good for 1988 but as far as hockey, or even good games go, this isn’t ticking any of the right boxes.

With a barren set of options and a meagre 6 international teams to choose from, things don’t start out well. Once you’ve selected your team, you can choose the physique of your four ‘outfield’ players – the skinny guy who’s quick but weak, the all-rounder with balanced attributes and the beefcake who’s powerful in all areas but as slow as Dawn French on an assault course.

Unfortunately, the bottom line with this game is that it’s just not much fun. Your squad mince around the rink like they have no sense of direction and there’s a total lack of organisation when it comes to tactical play. Chuck in the fact that Konami were doing some endlessly better things with Blades of Steel at around the same time and there isn’t much reason to give Ice Hockey the time of day.

As another alternative, you could always wait until Nintendo gain the rights to NHL ’94 on the Mega Drive. On that day, the world will be a better place.

[2/10]

Pinball (1985-6 - US, EU):

Does exactly what it says on the tin – what you are about to play involves flippers, bumpers and balls. But, from the hundreds of pinball games that have been released into the gaming market over the years, is there really any reason to be singling this effort out for acclaim? Well, not really.

Launching your ball into a generic, uninspiring table, you’re never greeted with any kind of surprise or clever design touches that make pinball the game that it is. Instead, you’re doomed to simply whacking a ball around a table and watching the score tick over. The physics are fairly imprecise, but that’s to be expected from a game as old as this, which was in fact one of the launch titles for the NES itself.

Although this must be one of only a handful pinball games with an actual plotline ever, where the tireless scamp Mario is up to his princess-saving business again, any evidence of this only comes into play on the bonus stages. These stages play more like Breakout than a pinball table, where you attempt to save Pamela from the clutches of… well, nothing. She’s just running aimlessly around in a boxed-in enclosure which appears to have a weak wall or two, surely tempting a possible escape. Make some effort love, Schofield managed it!

This game’s definitely no Pinball Fantasies, which is what you should be playing if you really like your pinball. However, if you’re after some no-brainer flipping action to crunch some hours on your Wii, this could be an option for you. I guess you could do the hoovering at the same time.

[5/10]

Soccer (1987 – US, EU):

Perhaps the fact that I’ve been playing Pro Evolution Soccer 6 non-stop for the past week is the reason why this game seems like utter garbage to me. Naturally, I’ll understand if you want to ignore my views for this reason, but I’m also willing to put my house on anybody who has played Soccer giving you the same prognosis as I do. Ok, so I don’t actually own a house, but that’s not the point.

If you want fast-flowing, end-to-end football with individuality and replayability, you’re really in the wrong town, district and country, fella. Mind-numbingly sluggish gameplay is most definitely the order of the day in this diabolical excuse for kickball. Your players stumble around the pitch like somebody’s tied their shoes together, their ability to control a ball resembles a pensioner kicking a dog bowl over and the shooting, well… let’s not go there.

If you do manage to get through an entire half, please write to me with your thoughts so I don’t have to spend any more time padding this review out. Thank you.

Oh wait, I appear to have started typing the next heading…

[1/10]

Tennis (1985-6 - US, EU):

Cripes, another archaic Nintendo sports title. Luckily, Tennis is the best of the three covered here so far. That’s right, be calm.

With no nonsense getting into a game at all, this game really is pick-up-and-play in its purest form. One or two people can get stuck right into the action and battle it out on-court with some surprisingly faithful physics and you-know-who sitting in the umpire’s chair. There are also a number of difficulty levels to choose from in case you think you’re a bit tasty.

The only issue I have with this game is that it’s probably a little pointless to own, the reason being of course that Wii Sports is bundled with the console in most territories, which contains tennis, boxing, golf, baseball and bowling. Really, the lure of four-player action utilising the Wiimote’s motion sensor technology is going to eclipse anything that the humble Tennis can offer the average Wii owner. For this reason, Tennis should perhaps only be bought for nostalgic value if anything, but there is no denying that some fun can be had with it.

[6/10]

Urban Champion (1986 - US, EU):

I’d never heard of this game before today, and with very good reason – it’s crap.

The main objective in this title is for you to square up to another urban-type bloke and engage in a bit of fisticuff action. With the ability to throw low and high punches, as well as block, your ultimate goal is to deck your opponent to the point where they’re falling off the end of the screen and nearer the dreaded open sewer hole further along the road. If you manage to get that far and knock them down, you move on to lay into another random chap. On your way, people in the shop windows will throw things at you every now and again and you need to watch your stamina as it inevitably decreases if you’re hit by falling pots or indeed your adversary.

And that’s really all there is to it.

I’m not sure how difficult the game would end up getting, but in the stages that I played you could quite simply use the same timing to walk up, lay a haymaker on your opponent and do the same when they got back up. They did block a few times as I neared the promised land of Poweroff, but seriously, you’d have to be exceedingly bored to play this highly limited game, which ends up coming down to button mashing and rife tedium.

If you really wanted to play something similar, but better, I would suggest either My Hero for the Master System or River City Ransom on the NES. Whether or not either of these will make the Virtual Console is another matter.

[2/10]

Wario’s Woods (1994 - US, EU):

A late game in the lifespan of the NES, and in fact, the last licensed game to be released in the United States. It was also released on the SNES with extra features, which were removed due to the limitations of the NES.

Wario’s Woods is a Tetris-style puzzle game that on first impressions appears much like many of the countless variations of the pentomino-stacking Russian classic. However, once you begin playing the game, you notice it’s a little different to the norm.

The first point of interest is that you actually take on the role of the famous Toad, and are primarily able to run around the bottom of the screen and up the sides of the ‘block area’. Forest creatures will soon fall from above, and you can manipulate these by picking them up and stacking them together. Coloured bombs will also begin to emerge, which are relative to the colour of the creatures. Getting a combination of one or more bombs and at least enough creatures together in a line to make the total equal three and upwards will cause the bombs to explode and blast any creatures away in the line. The goal is to remove all creatures from the playing field to complete the level.

There’s a number of modes to choose from before you get started, including ‘round mode’ (progressing through levels), ‘time attack’, ‘vs.’ and ‘lesson mode’. Unfortunately, the versus mode only offers you the chance to play against another human opponent – an option to play against some AI would not have gone amiss, but look no further than the SNES version if this is what you’re after.

Wario’s Woods seems like a fun puzzler, and as with most games from the genre, could keep you occupied for hours if you had the time and patience. There’s a ranking feature to keep your scores and the two-player mode will obviously add bags of longevity. It’s not my favourite puzzle game ever by some margin, but a laudable diversion nonetheless.

[7/10]

Baseball (1985 - US, EU):

The final sports title to be resurrected from the depths of the NES catalogue, but fear not as Baseball weighs in comparatively to Tennis in the gameplay stakes, unlike the other two titles which are best left forgotten.

Once again, the order of the day with Baseball is simply instant gaming gratification, doing away with any kind of stats, attributes or unnecessary extras. This game is all about two evenly matched teams duking it out on the diamond to try and rack up as many runs batted in as possible. Pitchers will try and fool batters with an arsenal of bowling styles, while the hitters in-turn attempt to belt a fly-ball into the clear skies and hurtle towards the furthest base possible. Using a little of your own imagination to make up for the NES’s lack of graphical prowess, Baseball is presented it in a fashion that pretty much anybody can find enjoyment from.

As with Tennis, however, Baseball may find itself on the back burner due to the inevitable stickball rendition that’s coming bundled within Wii Sports. But at the prospective price of $5, you can’t really go wrong with giving this game a little bit of your time, perhaps when you get tired of waving your arms around in the updated offerings.

[6/10]

Solomon’s Key (1987 - US, EU):

With the likes of Zelda coming out for the Virtual Console in December, you could well find yourself taking up the majority of the Chrimbo period playing only a handful of the NES games outlined in this feature. Probably for the best, if it means avoiding Soccer.

So what about squeezing Tecmo’s Solomon’s Key into your busy schedule? Personally, I’d say it certainly has good grounds for inclusion. To give a brief explanation of what it’s about, the basic premise is to navigate your guy, Dana, around single-screen levels collecting keys to open the exit to the next stage. Unsurprisingly, things aren’t quite as straightforward as this, as you’re required to tackle various kinds of enemies inhabiting each area on your travels. The problem is, until you collect a power-up when one becomes available, the only method of doing this is with your ability to place magic blocks on the floor next to you to stop advancing foes, which can also be broken with a swift thwack from your wand or a couple of standard head-butts if you need to remove them yourself.

Using these blocks as stepping stones instead, you can manoeuvre your way around the scenery, but care is needed as monsters are able to dissolve them from beneath your feet. There are a few secrets placed around at certain intervals, and collecting the bell on each level, which will normally take you out of your way, will grant you with a mysterious fairy at the exit door.

From the short period I played Solomon’s Key, I could see that it was an intriguing title with some welcome puzzle elements. It also appears to have been released on just about every platform of the time, which usually signifies some kind of popularity. Give it a go.

[7/10]

Super Nintendo

F-Zero (1991-2 – US, EU):

Hello, page skimmers! As I’m sure there are some of you out there, to cater for this in most generous fashion I can muster, here are a few words for you to chew on before you get back to it:

F-Zero is a game that was designed by Shigeru Miyamoto. When it comes out on the Virtual Console, you buy it. See you later!

For everybody else, this is the mere tip of the iceberg when describing what an essential game F-Zero is. Offering high-velocity futuristic racing from the word go, the game literally oozes speed from every outlet with some awesome Mode 7 trickery on show, proving to people at the time what the SNES could really do. Clipping right-angled corners, blazing away from other competitors after hitting an accumilated turbo on a track's sweet-spot and flinging yourself over gaping imperfections in the landscape are all experiences you will learn and cherish every time you shove F-Zero into your cartridge slot. SNES owners were quite simply in racing heaven with one of the most characteristic and challenging titles ever witnessed over the timeline of video gaming. Oh, and I almost forgot to mention it boasts a superb, blood-pumping soundtrack, which sounds wholly impressive by any 16-bit game's standards.

Unfortunately, once you’ve roared your way around the likes of Mute City, Big Blue and Port Town in various track layouts for a while, you begin to realise something is missing; something that would have utterly cemented the game in legend for years to come. If you don’t have any friends, you might just survive – big clue here. Got it yet? That’s right – F-Zero has NO multiplayer mode. None whatsoever. Zilch, zero, zip. Yes, it’s ok to cry.

Nintendo later rectified this tragic omission with its conversion of the franchise on the Gameboy Advance and the souped-up monster that was F-Zero X for the Nintendo 64, where you could race up to 29 other computer opponents in the single player mode without even getting started on the four-player excellence available.

Back to the SNES version in hand and this gamer sincerely hopes rumours are true that Nintendo will be sprucing up some of its back catalogues before resurrecting them on the Wii. If SNES titles are up for a make-over, we can only dream that perhaps new multiplayer modes could be implemented and wouldn’t be a bridge too far for the likes of F-Zero - it’s undoubtedly deserving enough. In any case, make this title your inaugural SNES purchase.

[9/10]

SimCity (1991-2 - US, EU):

Ah yes, everybody’s favourite game of destruction… I mean, construction. But come on, let’s be realistic here – who really gained greater enjoyment out of building up a thriving city more than pummelling it into the ground after a few clicks around the ‘natural disasters’ menu afterwards? That’s right, nobody.

Although I certainly enjoyed Will Wright’s SimCity, as well its sequels and spin-offs, I was always lucky enough to play these on a PC of some description. As with any strategy game, using a mouse and keyboard is infinitely easier than other control methods at getting things to do what you want, hence why I never gave the SNES version of SimCity the time of day. Yes, it was a good move to release it on consoles back then, as PCs were expensive and it would have been unfair not to try and push the distribution of such an important game as far as possible.

Today is different, and unless Nintendo are planning on making SimCity compatible with the Wiimote as a controller system, I can’t see much reason to buy the SNES version over the PC. I mean, most people have access to PCs these days – if you really wanted to play SimCity on such a regular basis, I’m sure you would have ordered a cheapo PC instead of a Wii to play it on, or at least you already own one.

This issue aside, SimCity is very much the same over most computer and console versions, as the basic graphics could be converted to pretty much any system back in the day, without the worry of pushing their technical boundaries too much. The objectives are also consistent across the board – build a city with residential and commercial areas, get some power stations and plumbing on the go, then throw in some police and fire departments and you’re on your way. The real challenge comes with maintaining the city you’ve just built, with issues such as taxes, riots and the aforementioned natural disasters to grapple with during your time in office. There are also scenarios to tackle which offer a nice slant to proceedings. City planning has never been so much fun.

My final take on this game is simply to re-iterate that if you really cannot get to a PC and play SimCity or some of its excellent offspring, I won’t blame you for picking it up on Virtual Console. That doesn't mean I don't have the right to mock you, though.

[5/10]

Nintendo 64

Mario 64 (1996 - US, EU):

Before I start on Mario’s Nintendo 64 outing, I’d first like to mention how gleefully excited I am about the possibility of N64 games gaining overhauls for the Wii. If you’ve played on an N64 recently, you’ll weep at how many of your favourites have somehow turned into a foggy, dull mess when you go back to give them a retrospective once-over. Goldeneye is a perfect example of this, with the multiplayer mode that we absolutely thrashed out to the limits when I was going through secondary school reduced to the experience of looking at a seemingly tiny square on your screen with a framerate of about ten and failing to aim properly at anything as a result. Were we all delusional back then?

All will be revealed when the Big N go ahead with the release of the game that expertly redefined the entire platform genre when it left the labs of Miyamoto in the middle of the last decade. Nobody had every played anything quite like Mario 64 before, and the absolute killer combination of exhilarating 3D visuals and Nintendo’s figurehead mascot meant the game was only going to be destined for wonderful things. Eleven million copies sold later, you wonder if there’s anybody left to who’s yet to play it.

However, to be quite frank for a moment, I've personally never given Mario 64 a whole lot of game time since its arrival, but then I've never given any Mario game in history as much attention as the early Sonic games, for instance. I can understand how awesome the games were on the grand scheme of things, but as a Mega Drive owner I was obviously not getting even a thought of a Mario game on my console from the powers that be, and was relegated to playing at friends houses and so forth. Perhaps the only titles I did play a lot featuring the famous plumbers were those that emerged on the Gameboy and in the old Game & Watch series. On this realisation, here's to the Wii making my Mario experience a little more extensive.

In any case, whatever I or anybody else portrays about the game, there’s absolutely no doubting that Mario 64 is going to be an extremely popular title on the Wii, if not the most popular, at least in the early stages. Heck, I’ll most likely even turn in some of my crazy earth euros for a copy.

Anyway, enough of listening to me - simply buy the game, make your own assumptions and you surely won’t be disappointed.

[8/10] (more of a popularity score than anything on my part)

So, ladies and gents, this wraps up the first part of my quick overview on the initial 'Nintendo's own' Virtual Console titles to be launched for the Wii. As promised, I’ll be looking at the Mega Drive (Genesis) and TG-16 releases when I can muster enough motivation to do so. Patience is a virtue and all that. Au revoir for now!